Burn Away That Which Doesn’t Serve
My foundation is built on girlhood torment. Self doubt and low self esteem have buried countless corpses of abuse in the walls of my subconscious. When one’s foundation is flawed, any disaster, natural or otherwise, can bring the house down hard and fast. This has left me with visible skeletons everywhere in the debris, and they all conveniently have ID in their pockets. All I have to do is molest a corpse. How the tables have turned… With my home and life torn asunder, I am forced to examine all the bullshit that’s been holding me back. I’ve kept these different attachments out of duty, love, or masochism (potentially all 3?), who can say? I never felt the cold iron tightening around my wrists, my ankles, my neck… my heart was the first to be captured. Maybe I did feel these chains, deep down, but it excited me and that excitement embarrassed me, so I buried those feelings, too. Maybe I had already been locked up for so long by one or another, as to think of bondage as my identity. The weight of imprisonment never comes off, only adding notches/scars with each owner’s transfer.
So soft at first, a lover’s caress, a hint of warm breath at my neck, smelling of cinnamon and whispering fantasies in my ear, telling me everything I ever thought I wanted to hear… But words are wind and iron is cold, hard reality. I didn’t hear the latch click when my fetters clamped shut. I barely noticed when I was gagged and bolted to the wall. Now the barriers are knocked down and I have found the key to my freedom, but only if I am brave enough to set fire to the ruins of my home and leave my abusers’ bodies to burn. Sure, I could try to pick up the pieces of my prison and rebuild again. Perhaps I would even succeed for a time, but they just don’t fit together the same as before and they’re all rotted out, besides. My newfound awareness of the damage done to my personal wellbeing is illuminating and restraints don’t hold me like they once did. There is only one way free of such entanglements that seek to keep us in bondage forever. Burn away that which doesn’t serve.